why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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