better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
