Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
