I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
