Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
