I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
