GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my sisters under your porch take her home
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
