At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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