I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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