her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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