you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
