sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
