apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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