And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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