look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
