Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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