dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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