i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
ugly people sure do ruin things
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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