she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I cut my penus on the lid.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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