chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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