Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
And then he peed in my hair
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize