the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
