Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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