they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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