once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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