i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
