Taylor Swift is so right about you.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
