singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
