I'm gonna have a badass scar
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
