i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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