ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
