He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
