The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
