Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
