Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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