Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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