Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
