i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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