How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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