He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize