You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
