Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mom said you looked used
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
