I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
