I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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