Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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