Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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