his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
