so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
