Your tits are I can't wait for
Jerry, you need to find god
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
ok first of all what the fuck
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize