What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
