I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
