You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
