Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
