it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
