i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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