Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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