There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
