You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
don't judge my taste in strippers
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
